Pigeon 1 Uslan 0

I should have said the plaster was covering up my cool new cut shaped tattoo, not a lame pigeon related scratch.

Skin, bones and hair

That's what i'm melting down too in this heat

ISL

As far as I'm aware, ISL is not an abbreviation of Islington. Despite living in N1 my council tax bill tells me I'm living in Hackney. According to my bank I live in Islington. Which borough would I prefer to be in? The one with the nicer coloured wheelie bins.

3D can smurf off

All these 3D movies popping up are essentially shit. Come back when I won't need to wear dodgy coloured glasses over my already dodgy oversized glasses. And as for your Avatar bluray on your 3D telly, surely employing a bunch of smurfs to reenact it on your coffee table would be just as effective?

I fucking hate pigeons

I know this isn't a pigeon on my t-shirt, but they keep shitting on my balcony. Listen up you disease ridden flying vermin, if you're going to use my property as some kind of fixed abode you better start to pay some of the mortgage. That or FUCK OFF.

Blue and green should never be seen

Fuck your rules, man. If you listen to advice like that you'd probably avoid double denim too.

Not very mellow yellow

For all you know I could be wearing those lemon yellow shorts I bought the other day too

Black on Pantone®

Given how sunny it is, I should have worn a more colourful tee today. At least it matches the pen I've been using to fill out my World Cup wallchart

Can your thumb do this?

I can actually bend it further…

Spending money

I might go and buy some clothes today. I still need to get a microwave though. And a working telephone. And a chest of draws. Aww fuck it, at least I've got a big telly.

get to the reactor

look, it's Quatto's t-shirt!

I forgot to post an entry yesterday

unfortunately the telepathic powers of this telepahe tee won't help me turn back time

uncanny

Pipes

didn't you not know my innards were made out of some kind of industrial pipe?

tea

Nite Jewel hand drew this tee. I like tea. Proper tea, not that shit you drink made from a tea bag. God, I hate it when people think they are tea experts when all they've ever drunken are those 'twinings selections'

Eye tests

Did I fail my last eye test as I couldn't see the chart, or did I pass because my prescription hasn't changed in something like 6 years?

This is not the same pink t-shirt i wore a few posts ago.

this one is cheaper

I thought wearing this Miami Vice tee might encourage the sun to make an appearance

I was wrong.

Anyway, apparently a few years ago Don Johnson was caught in Germany or something with something stupid like a billion dollars in bearer bonds in his car, claiming it was to produce a movie or some shit. (edit - Wikipedia says it was $8 billion in bank statements. Who trusts wikipedia though? Plus bearer bonds are cooler.)