Windrunner

Do not try this at home

Sword swallowing can kill, kids. Try 'daggering' instead.

Speak and Spell?

There's an app for that too.

My headphones match my t-shirt

Dave said they were so Nathan Barley. I should spend less time in Shoreditch I think…

"Ladies, my Mercedes, holds four in the back, two if you're fat"

Well, mine doesn't because I can't afford a Mercedes. Nor can I drive. Nor am I Busta Rhymes.

I do have this rather fetching Local Celebrity tee though

Not sure if this is meant to be a cracker

or some teeth or something. Whatever it is it's furry - you know where to find me if you want to feel for yourself…

I thought I'd smarten myself up today

the bow tie was perhaps a step too far though.

Blue Monday

Nothing to see here people, just a plain blue t-shirt. 

Be excellent to each other,

and party on dudes!

Some might say I have a Superman complex

I've even been known to change in a phoneboxes...

Plane t-shirt

*ba-dom-tshhhhh*

Neighbourhood Watch

Also known as stalking and intimidation.